Monday, 18 November 2013

Woes and wows and how to prevent yourself kicking the bucket

Having never had a conservatory before, I have previously been oblivious to the charms of the sound of rain drumming on a glass roof.

It is so nice to be in a warm room and hear the outdoor sounds so clear.. actually though.. should it sound that clear?

The answer to that is NO.

What I thought was the sound of rain gently hammering on my roof was in fact the sound of rain coming through my roof and slowly turning my floor into a rather depressing soggy mess.

Now, living in the UK you have to expect rain, so I have started each morning with the dreaded walk of doom to inspect the bucket under the leak.

You're probably thinking 'why doesn't she just fix the leak?' Don't think I have been idle. I have been up chairs squirting silicon into any gap visible.. only to find it leaks somewhere else during the next rainfall.

My roof is now made almost entirely of silicon.

I have however found a cunning way of preventing the rain leaking in.

What I do is put a bucket under the drip. This is a sure fire way to stop the leak. You see, I have discovered that the rain is particularly fond of my carpet. So much so, that it will only rain on parts of my floor NOT protected by a bucket.

No matter how bad the storm if a bucket is under the leak.. well it just won't drip. Fooled into thinking the leak has been fixed I remove the bucket and Ta Da!! it leaks again.

I have found the very best way to stop any future leaks is to completely fill the room with buckets. My conservatory now resembles a trendy art installation.

I have also found the best way to not trip on any of these buckets is to close the door, pull the curtain and gently weep in another room.

You must now be wondering why I don't just give up and move into a tent in a lonely field somewhere.. I often think this myself.. and then something happens that makes me realise why I moved to this little blob of Buckinghamshire.

While washing my dishes and staring vacantly out of my kitchen window what did I see, but this, floating past my window!

Now I can safely say I've never seen a hot air balloon go over my garden in all the time I lived in London!
And though I had to sprint upstairs to grab a camera, turning my feet into little pincushions on the gripper rods as I went, I think it was worth it.
Now when I think 'Wwwwwhyyy???' when something happens with my house/moneypit, I look at this rather blurry photograph and think to myself 'Ah, that's why'.

After nearly three months of living in my house I now have.. da da daaa.. stair carpet! Yes, who would have thunk that something so uninteresting could cause me such delight? The prospect of not getting blood poisoning when going up and down the stairs is really quite a nice prospect!

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